When one spouse decides to pursue a divorce, the non-filing spouse often feels an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. Their world turns upside down and the decision frequently surprises them. In these moments, desperation sets in and the non-filing spouse makes concessions to the filing spouse to try to win them back.
The danger this creates is that in a divorce, judges favor to maintain the status quo; they prefer to leave things as they find them unless there is a compelling reason. This is a general principle and does not apply equally to every judge or every situation. But, it is best not to risk it.
The areas this usually plays out are in living arrangements, timeshare, and support payments. The non-filing spouse may move out of the marital residence, acquiesce to less than equal time with minor children, or agree to pay excessive child support and maintenance all to buy time and favor with they spouse. Unfortunately, if these concessions last very long before coming before a judge, they tend to stick.
Even if you desperately want the marriage to work out despite your spouse filing a divorce action, consult an attorney. One of the chief benefits to having an attorney in a divorce is protecting you from yourself. They know what the law says and what their local judges typically order. They can stop you from giving up ground that your really do not want to relinquish in the long run while still keeping a cooperative spirit viable.