Jokes of the Day

This is from Bart McQueary (of course the first joke had to be an attorney joke):

This attorney is crossing this cop and he is trying to create doubt as to how well his partner can be trusted.

So the attorney asks “Do you completely trust your partner?”

“Yes I do,” the cop responds.

“Do you have lockers at the police department?” probes the attorney.

“Yes we do,” the cop responds.

“And do those lockers have locks on them?” asks the attorney.

“Yes they do,” answers the cop.

“Then if your partner and fellow officers are so trustworthy, why do you feel that you have to lock your lockers?” the young attorney asks with a sly smile.

“Because sometimes we get defense attorneys in there.”

This one from Bob Little:

So a magician, who has a parrot as part of his act, is trying to entertain guests on a cruise ship. He first makes hankerchiefs disappear but his parrot starts saying “Other hand, other hand”. The magician gives the glares at the parrot and goes to the next act where he makes flowers appear. The parrot says “Up sleeve, up sleeve”. The magician is furious and he pulls out a gun and shoots the parrot. Unfortunately, the bullet misses the bird, goes through the wall and hits a steam pipe which bursts. That night, the ship sinks and the magician and many others are floating in the sea waiting to be rescued. The parrot flies over and says “Okay, you got me. What’d you do with the ship?”